It has been some time since I've taken the time to sit and write my thoughts. The past few months have been mentally and emotionally challenging. This year in general has been, for all intents and purposes, most representative of my life thus far. It is both exceptionally gratifying and rewarding while being very difficult and heart wrenching. These diametrically opposing mental and emotional states often happening during the same timeframe and sometimes independently of each other. I have so much to be thankful and grateful for; a loving family, good friends, a roof over my head, a good job, reliable transportation ect. These things are a tremendous blessing and in no way do I fail to recognize and give thanks for these and my many others but at the same time I find myself thinking of deficiencies in my current condition. I had set certain educational and economic goals which are yet to be reached but which are appearing to be moving beyond my reach daily as I seek to meet the more immediate needs generated by day to day life. At times this pressure to meet personal and in some regard social expectations has an impact on my focus. and memory and in increasingly causing unnecessary but serious problems when executing daily tasks.